Saturday, July 24, 2010


it's really fun to make other people jealous, isn't it? Especially if you are so damn good. Try to compare me, and you will know the answer quickly.

I'm so damn better, hotter, sexier, bitchier than your ex. Don't even try to compare.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Question about heart.

"i love you..."
That's the last sentence that came from his mouth just view minutes before to me. At that moment, i was thinking to say, "i love you too.."
But then, i was thinking again. If i say that, will it be enough? For him, maybe that's all he wants to hear.
But for me, it's not enough..

I've said it to one person before. I thought it was enough. But then, it doesn't even mean anything now.

For this guy, that already gave his soul for me.. his heart.. Should i say the same thing to this guy as the word that i've said to the previous person?
I don't think so.

I think the words, "i love you too" is not enough to express what i feel.
But the problem is, i can't find the right words to say to him.

Should i say, "i'm all about you baby.." ?
Umm, No. It's to bias for me and i'm just too idealist to say that.
There's no such of thing like that.
There's "i'm all" hahaha.
Enough of idealistic.

I still can't find the proper words for him.
Not that i don't love him, or don't appreciate what he feels to me.
I do love him.
It's just, i think it's not enough for me.
He's worth more than that.

I've learnt. From my prev relationship, i was like all about him. But then i realize, it blinds me.
All about someone... is not good.

For this guy, i's not just love.
It's worth more than that.

I don't feel that i have to be with him.
I just feel that, i will be happy with him.

I think it's good not to be all about someone. Cause by not all about someone, you wont feel too much.
Vice versa, you will feel that you don't have to be with him. No push of anything.
But, by feel that you don't have to, you will find the honesty of your own feeling.. of your own heart.

That's what i feel for him.
I'm free of being who i am. Free to control my own heart.
And my heart is telling me that,
i will be happy with him.

But another question remains.
Is this enough for him?

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

This video is made for the sake of craziness of me and Widya. Unintentionally, errr... at least i guess.

"Bang sms siapa ini bang..."

Monday, July 12, 2010


Is there a long-last-love even exist ?

What i want know, is finding the right one.

I'm sure, God knows who.

All my pray is, "God, please make me close by someone i love and who meant to be with me. Please.. If he's not the one, make me perceive it in the best way.."

But, If love was supposed to be the best thing in the world why does it hurt so much?

Yea, World Cup euphoria seems already ended. Too fast as i can say. i wish it wasn't ended this fast. Lots of surprises with so many strong countries like France and Italy-who went home 1st-had the worst failure in their soccer history. It was ashamed, as what people said.

But despite that, The Oranje and The Matador had given a fascinating match last night. I personally supported Spain for a very beautiful-but messy-game last night. It was little bit disappointing of their game, but they won eventually. On the other hand, The Dutch gave a very strong fight last night. They seemed play cleaner than the Spanish. The tackles, passing, shooting, there were very nice, b
ut apparently, they lost.

Was Paul the Octopus that gave a 'vision' that said Spain was gonna win the match. And it was true! He becomes an icon of 'mystic'-or whatever you call it- of soccer game. I think Deddy Corbuzier and (Almh) Mama Lauren got their ass beaten by an octopus. hah!

David Villa (7)

Cesc Fabregas (my favorite. 10)

The "Man of the Match!!! Casillas (1)


adidas Golden Ball --> URU Diego FORLAN

adidas Golden Boot --> GER Thomas Mueller

adidas Golden Glove --> ESP Iker CASILLAS

FIFA Fair Play award --> ESP Spain

Best Young Player Award --> GER Thomas MUELLER

Last Man of the Match --> Spain Andres INIESTA


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Back.. (again..)

Yes, Back. That's the only word that can express my blog right now. After 2 years approximately without no post, yes, I'm back.

actually my friend, adry remind me of blogging just an hour ago and that hits me and made me think, "hey! how's my blog anyway?" And then i start to open this website and was shocked by the password security that kept prevent me from logging in. "Oh crap!", i thought. And then i started to think to send blogspot an email, and waited for their email back. After long waiting, finally i could open my blog and started editing the design-which is outdated- to be updated. Surprised by the last time i wrote a post was October 2008. W-o-w. it was like almost 2 years ago.

Two years, quite long time ago,eh? 2 years ago i was an 18 years old girl. And now i'm like almost-20 year old-girl, which is i always regret. Oh well, lots of things happened too. I was actually no close of being a kinda extrovert by posting and publish my own life here, in Internet. But it happens anyway.

Privacy is no longer a word during these days. By the existence of twitter, facebook, MySpace, and several networking sites, privacy is no more than a word. Everyone wishes to tell story about their life, with me no exception. The post that i've made several years ago when i was an exchange student in USA shows that i wanted everyone to read my story. Yes, maybe i'm kinda lil bit extrovert, but nothing wrong with it,no?

As what i said, tons of things happened. Friends, School, house, boyfriend.. Well,lets not talk about boyfriend. hah!
I found more about life in these past 2 years. thousands things changed, including me. I believe everybody changed every second in their lives. But then it depends on people around them who can accept them, or not.

I've experienced several things that can prove people can't accept people changes. My old-love is the improvement. We broke up (idk how many times and when exactly). It hurts a lot, even until now. after 4 years long journey with tons of sweet and bitter memories, we finally ended in not a proper way. But i believe, both of us still have our own spot in our hearts that can not be replaced. It's our first love for God's sake! It's time to covering up everything. No time to forget, at least that's what i think.

forget is not a right thing to do, the right thing to do is live with it without considering it back.

I love him, he loves me. At least that's what i think and i'm quite sure about it.
I believe, no matter how hard our love is, if Allah already decided that we're gonna be together, then we'll be together, God knows when.
I never regret that i want him as my future, but i wont push it anymore. Just let it go.

Right now, i'm waiting for someone who loves me with heart.. i hope he's someone up there. I hope.